Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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