But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
