Who did Billy Mays play for?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
