Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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