I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
