ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
