I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
