we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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