Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
