2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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