Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
