He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
