That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
