yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
