is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
