Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
