i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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