Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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