how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
