the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
