last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
