sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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