who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
