you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
