Fuck appropriateness.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize