hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
