Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Randomize
