Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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