Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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