Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
