Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
