I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
