Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
