I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
