You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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