Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
