i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize