Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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