So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
