also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
