New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
