Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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