how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize