i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize