I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
