dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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