We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
