my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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