And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
how does that bad decision feel?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
