Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
