You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
