would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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