rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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