My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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