I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Still dying that you shit outside
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
