I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
