I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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