I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
