32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
