If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
